Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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