There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
