I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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