Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
