He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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