My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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