glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
operation have a gay friend backfired
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
