Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
