I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
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