I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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