And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
