I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
