Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
