I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
