Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
