what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
