Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
