She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
