its not stalking. its research.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
