went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Acid is not a monday night drug
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
