I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize