My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
