my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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