I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
