i think my mom watched the whole time
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He better not be in your backpack
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
