How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
