how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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