So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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