yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i will never coherently bang her
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize