this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize