if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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