You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
