i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
