to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
