I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
