i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
