The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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