One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
