I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She's the barista slut.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
is it fun? or sober?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
