Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
