Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
