So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
