I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
