id be glad to
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
