Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
