We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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