HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
