I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
