wrigley field is MILF paradise
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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