Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You're like the curious george of whores
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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