Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm like, not good at living.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
