I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
