Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
