How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
