pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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