Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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