just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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