My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
