after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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