I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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