This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
