everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
