I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
