So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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