If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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